This note is an example of God's provision and faithfulness, AND consistency in my life :) It is the second half the the last note I wrote and hopefully an encouragement to all who read this.
The last time I wrote a note or update, I was feeling so alone, so purposeless, and kinda depressed. I was so frustrated and SO wanting to hear from the Lord that when I didnt, it made things worse. I thought God had moved on to the next person and put me on hold. If only I really knew what He was doing.
The last month and a half have been quite the adventure.
The best way to explain it to you is just get right to the point.
God shows up in the middle of crisis, need, and desperation.
I wanted to know why I moved home to Baltimore, why I was teaching when that wasnt the "proposed plan," I wanted to know why I "wasnt hearing" from God, and really just wanted to know how He was going to do what he had and has promised to me.
Well.. lets just say, God honors the faithful. I was determined to hear from the Lord. I came to a place that I didnt care if he wasnt going to answer, but I was going to keep talking to him and I was gonna wait. I knew he had to at some point if He was who the Word says he is. In my car to and from work or running errands I would just pray. Some days it felt like a wall. I didnt care. I have always been told that when God is silent and when you are feeling the most alone, God is the most near. That doesnt make sense to me but I just figured I would go with it because I was thinking I had DONE EVERYTHING that I could think of... well, almost. In examining my day to day life, I found that I had been spending so much of my free time online. Whether it be facebook, twitter, email, etc... i was online whenever I could. So... I decided to do an undecided time facebook cutback... probably the best decision at the end of a year right before the start of a new year and decade.
Lets just say that I wasnt planning for what would happen next.
In the last month, I have been blown away at the peace God has given to me, the things he has shown me, and the positioning of purpose he has done for me. In my exchange of facebook for the word, I have found clarity, peace, and joy. Amazing, right!?
Some things worsened in order to God to show up. period. He's taught me a lot about stepping into people crises to watch God do the miraculous. He has given me opportunities to meet peoples needs in practical ways and has confirmed why I am doing what I am in this season of life. AWESOME!
Tonight as I sit by the fire I am so content and excited for what God is doing in and through me. I had the honor of being asked to be a part of a leadership team for a womens conference in my own home city. Through it I am able to be a voice for my generation and for the needs and empowerment of young adults. I find myself valuing this time of living at home with my family in this season of life, as I know it will not be like this forever. I have such a peace in the decisions I have made for the next 2-3 years that have surrendered to God, and he has returned to me an answer of peace and trust in him. I desire the word over relationship with people or "the to do list"... I desire relationship with unbelievers more than I have before, to be bold and love non-judgementally and without criticism. Eyes and insight for the world and into peoples lives. It is incredible to read the Word, it SHOUTS from the pages. It is ROCKIN my world, as Katie would say!
God is a faithful God. He loves us so much and is so proud of us. He is our cheerleader and our biggest and loudest fan. His Word is life and power to the mind and heart. He is reckless for us, summoning our heart even in the most inconvenient times. He is persistent, do you hear him!?
I hope that whatever season you are in, or maybe its just a thought or feeling you have... God is for you, and he is not silent. He is speaking, though we not always able to hear him.
I've been meditating on this verse a lot lately.
Ephesians 4:18
They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.
I'll break it down. Sin separates us from God. The world is separated from God. Why? Because of their ignorance. Ignorance comes from a hardening of a heart. A hard heart separates us from God. A hard heart can be sin. God melts the heart of stone.
Ezekiel 11:19
I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.
In the two greatest commandments: Love God Love People.
I realize that we must continually ask God to keep our hearts soft. Soft towards him and soft towards people.
I don't want my heart to be hard. I want my heart to be a softy. To emphasize with the broken, to be compassionate towards the needy, to be inconvenienced for those who need a listening ear.
Jesus is working in me. He is preparing me. I don't even know why, or for what. I mean how many 24 year olds who work full time spend their nights sitting by the fire reading the bible. It seems so stupid, and insignificant, and boring. But in reality, it is getting more exciting day by day. You should try it. It is luring me. It makes me want to spend time with people and share what he is saying. It is making me bold. It sounds crazy to some, but I love it.
The last time I wrote a note or update, I was feeling so alone, so purposeless, and kinda depressed. I was so frustrated and SO wanting to hear from the Lord that when I didnt, it made things worse. I thought God had moved on to the next person and put me on hold. If only I really knew what He was doing.
The last month and a half have been quite the adventure.
The best way to explain it to you is just get right to the point.
God shows up in the middle of crisis, need, and desperation.
I wanted to know why I moved home to Baltimore, why I was teaching when that wasnt the "proposed plan," I wanted to know why I "wasnt hearing" from God, and really just wanted to know how He was going to do what he had and has promised to me.
Well.. lets just say, God honors the faithful. I was determined to hear from the Lord. I came to a place that I didnt care if he wasnt going to answer, but I was going to keep talking to him and I was gonna wait. I knew he had to at some point if He was who the Word says he is. In my car to and from work or running errands I would just pray. Some days it felt like a wall. I didnt care. I have always been told that when God is silent and when you are feeling the most alone, God is the most near. That doesnt make sense to me but I just figured I would go with it because I was thinking I had DONE EVERYTHING that I could think of... well, almost. In examining my day to day life, I found that I had been spending so much of my free time online. Whether it be facebook, twitter, email, etc... i was online whenever I could. So... I decided to do an undecided time facebook cutback... probably the best decision at the end of a year right before the start of a new year and decade.
Lets just say that I wasnt planning for what would happen next.
In the last month, I have been blown away at the peace God has given to me, the things he has shown me, and the positioning of purpose he has done for me. In my exchange of facebook for the word, I have found clarity, peace, and joy. Amazing, right!?
Some things worsened in order to God to show up. period. He's taught me a lot about stepping into people crises to watch God do the miraculous. He has given me opportunities to meet peoples needs in practical ways and has confirmed why I am doing what I am in this season of life. AWESOME!
Tonight as I sit by the fire I am so content and excited for what God is doing in and through me. I had the honor of being asked to be a part of a leadership team for a womens conference in my own home city. Through it I am able to be a voice for my generation and for the needs and empowerment of young adults. I find myself valuing this time of living at home with my family in this season of life, as I know it will not be like this forever. I have such a peace in the decisions I have made for the next 2-3 years that have surrendered to God, and he has returned to me an answer of peace and trust in him. I desire the word over relationship with people or "the to do list"... I desire relationship with unbelievers more than I have before, to be bold and love non-judgementally and without criticism. Eyes and insight for the world and into peoples lives. It is incredible to read the Word, it SHOUTS from the pages. It is ROCKIN my world, as Katie would say!
God is a faithful God. He loves us so much and is so proud of us. He is our cheerleader and our biggest and loudest fan. His Word is life and power to the mind and heart. He is reckless for us, summoning our heart even in the most inconvenient times. He is persistent, do you hear him!?
I hope that whatever season you are in, or maybe its just a thought or feeling you have... God is for you, and he is not silent. He is speaking, though we not always able to hear him.
I've been meditating on this verse a lot lately.
Ephesians 4:18
They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.
I'll break it down. Sin separates us from God. The world is separated from God. Why? Because of their ignorance. Ignorance comes from a hardening of a heart. A hard heart separates us from God. A hard heart can be sin. God melts the heart of stone.
Ezekiel 11:19
I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.
In the two greatest commandments: Love God Love People.
I realize that we must continually ask God to keep our hearts soft. Soft towards him and soft towards people.
I don't want my heart to be hard. I want my heart to be a softy. To emphasize with the broken, to be compassionate towards the needy, to be inconvenienced for those who need a listening ear.
Jesus is working in me. He is preparing me. I don't even know why, or for what. I mean how many 24 year olds who work full time spend their nights sitting by the fire reading the bible. It seems so stupid, and insignificant, and boring. But in reality, it is getting more exciting day by day. You should try it. It is luring me. It makes me want to spend time with people and share what he is saying. It is making me bold. It sounds crazy to some, but I love it.
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